I am sick of games. I am sick of the run around, false promises, and hidden agendas. I do not need anyone watching what I do, where I go, or monitoring who I talk/communicate with. I do not understand why I am an adult and yet seemingly, I have a tight leash when it comes to personal freedom. I work my ass off and have since the day I moved out. I have made some great decisions and bad ones as well, but it is all a part of growing up. I wish I could live in a world without judgement and bias. A world filled with people who just take life as it comes, see things in a similar light as myself, and do not judge ones failures or short comings. I do not ask pity, I am not begging for help, I do not need charity. What I need, is to be allowed to live a life I am proud of. One that allows me to work hard for what I have and earn what I am given.
This is a simple and yet random rant on how I feel as of lately. I try so hard to impress other people, that I have fallen short on trying to impress myself. I try so hard to make others see me in a light that I want them to see me, and yet in doing so, they know very little about who I really am. That is all about to change. To the guy I know who came into my work today and gave me the “wow, I went to school with this guy and this is where he is in life look,” fuck off. I am damn proud of where I work. I am happy to be in an environment that challenges and accepts me. So while you sit at your tiny ass desk, working on some office computer doing work that you hate, I will be working with people I enjoy, and having a damn good time while doing so. A part of my life is making other people happy and by God so help me, if I can apply that to my work and make it a career, so be it. At least I will have excelled at what I do and enjoy in life.
More to come…
A random and confusing rant to anyone who reads it. My apologies, please do not hate me.
*BTW: To my life monitor(s) who keep tabs on me here, go get your own life. You don’t need to watch my every move then ask others about where I am. Keep your nose out of my ass and in your own God damned business and, for lack of a better expression, piss off. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
So I have an interview in heaven today… thats right. STARBUCKS. I hope I get this job, I will likely fall over and faint if I do. What will come afterwards? My iPhone. Must get the iPhone.
I have chosen to live by those words in a sense. A lot of change has come my way recently, and a lot more is to come, that is certain. While I know there will be difficulties and hardships in the future, I believe that the move I am making this week is one that will change my future for the better. I believe, that even though leaving the friends and family that I love is difficult, this is an opportunity to experience new adventures, walk new paths, and create a fresh and new beginning for myself and those that will be around me. I hope and pray for the best and I know that someday, in some way, this will all be for the best.
*Photo taken along Emerald Isle outside Atlantic City, North Carolina by Coty Thomas.